Learning Happiness
学习如何获得幸福

Don’t take yourself so seriously. You’re just a monkey with a plan.
别太把自己当回事，你不过是只有点想法的猴子罢了。

Happiness Is Learned
幸福是可以学习的

Ten years ago, if you would have asked me how happy I was, I would have dismissed the question. I didn’t want to talk about it.
十年前，要是有人问我幸福与否，我根本不愿理会这个问题，也不想谈论。

On a scale of 1–10, I would have said 2/10 or 3/10. Maybe 4/10 on my best days. But I did not value being happy.
要是从 1 到 10 打分，我可能会给 2 分或 3 分。状态最好的时候，也许能给到 4 分。但我并不把幸福当回事。

Today, I am a 9/10. And yes, having money helps, but it’s actually a very small piece of it. Most of it comes from learning over the years my own happiness is the most important thing to me, and I’ve cultivated it with a lot of techniques. [10]
今天，我给自己的状态打 9 分（满分 10 分）。的确，金钱有一定作用，但实际上这只是其中微不足道的一部分。更多的是，这些年来我认识到，对我而言，自身的幸福才是重中之重，而且我通过诸多方法来提升幸福感。[10]

Maybe happiness is not something you inherit or even choose, but a highly personal skill that can be learned, like fitness or nutrition.
也许幸福并非与生俱来，甚至也不是可以选择的，而是一种极具个人色彩的技能，如同健身或营养知识那般，是能够习得的。

Happiness is a very evolving thing, I think, like all the great questions. When you’re a little kid, you go to your mom and ask, “What happens when we die? Is there a Santa Claus? Is there a God? Should I be happy? Who should I marry?” Those kinds of things. There are no glib answers because no answers apply to everybody. These kinds of questions ultimately do have answers, but they have personal answers.
我觉得，幸福就像所有重大议题一样，是个不断变化的概念。小时候，你会跑去问妈妈：“人死后会怎样？真有圣诞老人吗？上帝存在吗？我要怎样才能开心？我该跟谁结婚？”诸如此类的问题。这些问题没有简单的答案，因为没有放之四海而皆准的回答。这类问题最终确实有答案，但答案因人而异。

The answer that works for me is going to be nonsense to you, and vice versa. Whatever happiness means to me, it means something different to you. I think it’s very important to explore what these definitions are.
对我有用的答案，对你而言可能毫无意义，反之亦然。幸福于我而言的意义，对你来说截然不同。我觉得探究这些定义至关重要。

For some people I know, it’s a flow state. For some people, it’s satisfaction. For some people, it’s a feeling of contentment. My definition keeps evolving. The answer I would have given you a year ago will be different than what I tell you now.
对我认识的一些人而言，这是一种心流状态。对另一些人来说，这意味着满足。还有些人觉得，这是一种知足感。而我的定义也在不断变化。要是一年前你问我，我的回答会和现在截然不同。

Today, I believe happiness is really a default state. Happiness is there when you remove the sense of something missing in your life.
如今，我觉得幸福其实是一种默认状态。当你不再觉得生活中缺了什么，幸福就来了。

We are highly judgmental survival-and-replication machines. We constantly walk around thinking, “I need this,” or “I need that,” trapped in the web of desires. Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something.
我们是极易评判事物的生存与繁衍机器。我们常常四处走动，心里念叨着“我要这个”或者“我要那个”，深陷欲望的牢笼。幸福是一种毫无缺失的状态。当一无所缺时，你的大脑便会停歇下来，不再沉湎于过去，也不再谋划未来，既不追悔过往，也不规划将来。

In that absence, for a moment, you have internal silence. When you have internal silence, then you are content, and you are happy. Feel free to disagree. Again, it’s different for everybody.
在那份寂静之中，刹那间，你内心归于平静。内心平静之时，你便会感到满足与快乐。若有不同看法，也无妨。毕竟，每个人的感受不尽相同。

People mistakenly believe happiness is just about positive thoughts and positive actions. The more I’ve read, the more I’ve learned, and the more I’ve experienced (because I verify this for myself), every positive thought essentially holds within it a negative thought. It is a contrast to something negative. The Tao Te Ching says this more articulately than I ever could, but it’s all duality and polarity. If I say I’m happy, that means I was sad at some point. If I say he’s attractive, then somebody else is unattractive. Every positive thought even has a seed of a negative thought within it and vice versa, which is why a lot of greatness in life comes out of suffering. You have to view the negative before you can aspire to and appreciate the positive.
人们误以为幸福只与积极的想法和行动有关。我阅读、学习和经历得越多（因为我会亲自验证），就越发明白，每一个积极的想法本质上都包含着一个消极的想法。这是与消极事物的一种对照。《道德经》对此的阐述比我更为精妙，但这一切都体现了二元性和极性。比如我说自己开心，那就意味着我曾有过难过的时候；说他有魅力，就意味着有人缺乏魅力。每个积极想法都暗藏着消极的种子，反之亦然，这就是为什么许多人生成就都源于苦难。只有先正视消极，才能向往并珍视积极的事物。

To me, happiness is not about positive thoughts. It’s not about negative thoughts. It’s about the absence of desire, especially the absence of desire for external things. The fewer desires I can have, the more I can accept the current state of things, the less my mind is moving, because the mind really exists in motion toward the future or the past. The more present I am, the happier and more content I will be. If I latch onto a feeling, if I say, “Oh, I’m happy now,” and I want to stay happy, then I’m going to drop out of that happiness. Now, suddenly, the mind is moving. It’s trying to attach to something. It’s trying to create a permanent situation out of a temporary situation.
对我而言，幸福既无关积极的念头，也无关消极的想法。幸福在于欲望的消弭，尤其是对身外之物欲望的消散。欲望越少，我就越能接纳事物的现状，内心的波动也就越小，因为人的思绪往往在对过去或未来的追逐中起伏。越是活在当下，我就越快乐、越满足。要是我执着于某种感觉，比如心想 “我此刻很开心”，还想一直保持这份开心，那我反而会失去这种快乐。刹那间，内心开始躁动，试图抓住什么，想要把转瞬即逝的状态变成永恒。

Happiness to me is mainly not suffering, not desiring, not thinking too much about the future or the past, really embracing the present moment and the reality of what is, and the way it is. [4]
对我而言，幸福主要意味着不痛苦、不贪求，不过多纠结于过去或未来，而是真正地活在当下，接纳事物的现状与本真。[4]

If you ever want to have peace in your life, you have to move beyond good and evil.
如果你希望生活中有平静，你就必须超越善与恶。

Nature has no concept of happiness or unhappiness. Nature follows unbroken mathematical laws and a chain of cause and effect from the Big Bang to now. Everything is perfect exactly the way it is. It is only in our particular minds we are unhappy or not happy, and things are perfect or imperfect because of what we desire. [4]
大自然并无幸福与不幸的概念。它遵循着亘古不变的数学定律，以及从宇宙大爆炸至今的因果链条。一切事物的存在，皆恰如其分、完美无缺。唯有在我们的主观意识里，才会有幸福或不幸的感受，事物也因我们的欲求而被判定为完美或不完美。[4]

The world just reflects your own feelings back at you. Reality is neutral. Reality has no judgments. To a tree, there is no concept of right or wrong, good or bad. You’re born, you have a whole set of sensory experiences and stimulations (lights, colors, and sounds), and then you die. How you choose to interpret them is up to you—you have that choice.
世界只是将你内心的感受映照回来。现实是中立的，并无评判。对一棵树而言，不存在对错、好坏的概念。你降临于世，经历各种感官体验与刺激（光线、色彩、声音），而后离世。至于如何解读这些，全在于你——你拥有这个选择权。

This is what I mean when I say happiness is a choice. If you believe it’s a choice, you can start working on it. [77]
这就是我所说的，幸福是一种选择。要是你认同这一点，就可以着手去追求幸福了。[77]

There are no external forces affecting your emotions—as much as it may feel that way.
尽管你可能感觉并非如此，但实际上并没有外部力量在影响你的情绪。

I’ve also come to believe in the complete and utter insignificance of the self, and I think that helps a lot. For example, if you thought you were the most important thing in the Universe, then you would have to bend the entire Universe to your will. If you’re the most important thing in the Universe, then how could it not conform to your desires. If it doesn’t conform to your desires, something is wrong.
我也逐渐相信，自我实在是无足轻重，我觉得这一点很有帮助。比如说，要是你觉得自己是宇宙中最重要的存在，那你就得让整个宇宙都顺着你的心意来。既然你是宇宙中最重要的，它又怎会不遂你愿呢？要是它没能如你所愿，那就出问题了。

However, if you view yourself as a bacteria or an amoeba—or if you view all of your works as writing on water or building castles in the sand, then you have no expectation for how life should “actually” be. Life is just the way it is. When you accept that, you have no cause to be happy or unhappy. Those things almost don’t apply.
然而，倘若你将自己视作细菌或变形虫，又或者把自己所做的一切，都当作是在水上写字、沙滩筑堡，那么你就不会对生活 “实际” 该有的样子抱有期待。生活本就如此。当你接受这一点，就没有理由感到快乐或不快乐，这些情绪几乎都不适用。

Happiness is what’s there when you remove the sense that something is missing in your life.
幸福，就是当你不再感觉生活有所缺失时，内心所感受到的状态。

What you’re left with in that neutral state is not neutrality. I think people believe neutrality would be a very bland existence. No, this is the existence little children live. If you look at little children, on balance, they’re generally pretty happy because they are really immersed in the environment and the moment, without any thought of how it should be given their personal preferences and desires. I think the neutral state is actually a perfection state. One can be very happy as long as one isn’t too caught up in their own head. [4]
在这种中立状态下，你所体验到的并非是平淡无奇。我想人们往往觉得中立意味着一种乏味的生活。但事实并非如此，这其实是小孩子的生活状态。仔细观察小孩子，你会发现他们大多时候都很快乐，因为他们全身心地投入到周围环境和当下时刻，不会依据个人喜好和欲望去评判事物。我觉得这种中立状态实际上是一种完美状态。只要不过度陷入自我的思绪，人就能获得极大的快乐。[4]

Our lives are a blink of a firefly in the night. You’re just barely here. You have to make the most of every minute, which doesn’t mean you chase some stupid desire for your entire life. What it means is every second you have on this planet is very precious, and it’s your responsibility to make sure you’re happy and interpreting everything in the best possible way. [9]
我们的生命，不过如夜空中萤火虫一闪即逝。你在这世间停留的时间极为短暂，必须充分利用每一分钟。这并非指一生都去追逐那些愚蠢的欲望，而是说你在这世上的每一秒都无比珍贵，你有责任让自己快乐，并以最佳方式去理解身边的一切。

We think of ourselves as fixed and the world as malleable, but it’s really we who are malleable and the world is largely fixed.
我们总觉得自己一成不变，世界却能随心改变，实则不然，可变的是我们，世界大体上是固定的。

Can practicing meditation help you accept reality?
练习冥想是否有助于你接受现实？

Yeah. But it’s amazing how little it helps. [laughs] You can be a long-time meditator, but if someone says the wrong thing in the wrong way, you go back to your ego-driven self. It’s almost like you’re lifting one-pound weights, but then somebody drops a huge barbell with a stack of plates on your head.
没错。但令人惊讶的是，冥想的作用竟如此有限。[笑] 即便你长期坚持冥想，要是有人说话不当，你还是会立马变得自我起来。这感觉就像你一直举着一磅重的哑铃，结果突然有人把一根带着一堆杠铃片的大杠铃砸到你头上。

It’s absolutely better than doing nothing. But when the actual moment of mental or emotional suffering arrives, it’s still never easy. [8] Real happiness only comes as a side-effect of peace. Most of it is going to come from acceptance, not from changing your external environment. [8]
这肯定比无所事事要强。然而，当精神或情感上的痛苦切实降临时，应对起来依旧困难重重。[8] 真正的幸福其实是内心安宁带来的附带收获。幸福的关键，更多在于接纳现状，而非改变外部环境。[8]

A rational person can find peace by cultivating indifference to things outside of their control.
理性之人，若能对无力掌控之事淡然处之，便可寻得内心安宁。

I have lowered my identity.
我自降了身份。

I have lowered the chattering of my mind.
我已经让脑海中的嘈杂声减弱了。

I don’t care about things that don’t really matter.
我不在乎那些无关紧要的事。

I don’t get involved in politics.
我不涉足政治。

I don’t hang around unhappy people.
我不会跟不开心的人混在一起。

I really value my time on this earth.
我真的十分珍视自己在世上的时光。

I read philosophy.
我研读哲学。

I meditate.
我会进行冥想。

I hang around with happy people.
我常与快乐的人相伴。

And it works.
而且它确实有效。

You can very slowly but steadily and methodically improve your happiness baseline, just like you can improve your fitness. [10]
你可以像提升身体素质那样，缓慢却稳定且有序地提高自己的幸福基准线。[10]

Happiness Is a Choice
幸福是一种抉择

Happiness, love, and passion…aren’t things you find—they’re choices you make.
幸福、爱与激情……并非寻得之物，而是你做出的选择。

Happiness is a choice you make and a skill you develop.
幸福是一种你可以做出的选择，也是一项你能够培养的技能。

The mind is just as malleable as the body. We spend so much time and effort trying to change the external world, other people, and our own bodies—all while accepting ourselves the way we were programmed in our youths.
心智与身体一样具有可塑性。我们耗费大量时间和精力，试图改变外部世界、他人以及自身的身体，却一直默认着年少时就已形成的自己。

We accept the voice in our head as the source of all truth. But all of it is malleable, and every day is new. Memory and identity are burdens from the past preventing us from living freely in the present. [3]
我们往往把脑海中的声音当作一切真理的源头。然而，这一切并非一成不变，每一天都是崭新的开始。记忆与身份如同过往的包袱，让我们无法在当下自由自在地生活。[3]

Happiness Requires Presence
幸福需要活在当下

At any given time, when you’re walking down the streets, a very small percentage of your brain is focused on the present. The rest is planning the future or regretting the past. This keeps you from having an incredible experience. It’s keeping you from seeing the beauty in everything and for being grateful for where you are. You can literally destroy your happiness if you spend all of your time living in delusions of the future. [4]
在任何时候，当你走在街上，你大脑仅有极少一部分关注当下，其余的都在规划未来或追悔过去。这让你无法获得美妙的体验，无法领略万物之美，也无法对当下心怀感恩。要是你一味沉浸在对未来的幻想中，那真的会毁掉自己的幸福。[4]

We crave experiences that will make us be present, but the cravings themselves take us from the present moment.
我们渴求那些能让我们专注于当下的体验，然而，正是这些渴求使我们偏离了当下。

I just don’t believe in anything from my past. Anything. No memories. No regrets. No people. No trips. Nothing. A lot of our unhappiness comes from comparing things from the past to the present. [4]
我就是不相信自己过往的任何事，毫无例外。没有回忆，没有遗憾，没有故人，没有旅程，一概没有。我们很多的不快乐，都源于拿过去和现在作比较。[4]

Anticipation for our vices pulls us into the future. Eliminating vices makes it easier to be present.
对自身恶习的期待，会让我们瞻念未来。戒除恶习，则更易专注当下。

There’s a great definition I read: “Enlightenment is the space between your thoughts.” It means enlightenment isn’t something you achieve after thirty years sitting on a mountaintop. It’s something you can achieve moment to moment, and you can be enlightened to a certain percent every single day. [5]
我读到过一个绝妙的定义：“开悟，即思绪间的留白。”这意味着，开悟并非要在山顶枯坐三十年才能达成，而是每时每刻都能实现的状态，每天都能在一定程度上有所开悟。[5]

What if this life is the paradise we were promised, and we’re just squandering it?
如果此生就是我们所期许的天堂，而我们却在肆意挥霍，该当如何？

Happiness Requires Peace
幸福需要内心的安宁

Are happiness and purpose interconnected?
幸福与目标是否相互关联？

Happiness is such an overloaded word, I’m not even sure what it means. For me these days, happiness is more about peace than it is about joy. I don’t think peace and purpose go together.
幸福这个词含义太丰富了，我甚至都不确定它到底指什么。如今对我而言，幸福更多意味着内心的平静，而非快乐。我觉得平静和目标无法兼得。

If it’s your internal purpose, the thing you most want to do, then sure, you’ll be happy doing it. But an externally inflicted purpose, like “society wants me to do X,” “I am the first son of the first son of this, so I should do Y,” or “I have this debt or burden I took on,” I don’t think it will make you happy.
如果这是你内心的追求，是你最渴望去做的事，那毫无疑问，做这件事会让你感到快乐。但要是目标是外界强加给你的，比如“社会期望我做 X”“我身为家族长子的长子，理应做 Y”，又或者“我承担了这笔债务或负担”，我觉得这些并不会让你快乐。

I think a lot of us have this low-level pervasive feeling of anxiety. If you pay attention to your mind, sometimes you’re just running around doing your thing and you’re not feeling great, and you notice your mind is chattering and chattering about something. Maybe you can’t sit still…There’s this “nexting” thing where you’re sitting in one spot thinking about where you should be next.
我觉得我们很多人都有一种隐隐的、持续存在的焦虑感。要是留意自己的思绪，有时你只是忙忙碌碌，却感觉不太对劲，还会发现脑海里一直絮絮叨叨想着什么。或许你坐不住……有一种 “想下一步” 的状态，明明坐在这儿，心里却琢磨着接下来该去何处。

It’s always the next thing, then the next thing, the next thing after that, then the next thing after that creating this pervasive anxiety.
总是一件事接着一件事，没完没了，由此引发了这种挥之不去的焦虑。

It’s most obvious if you ever just sit down and try and do nothing, nothing. I mean nothing, I mean not read a book, I mean not listen to music, I mean literally just sit down and do nothing. You can’t do it, because there’s anxiety always trying to make you get up and go, get up and go, get up and go. I think it’s important just being aware the anxiety is making you unhappy. The anxiety is just a series of running thoughts.
要是你曾坐下，试着什么都不做，彻彻底底地什么都不做，就会发现这再明显不过了。我指的是什么都不做，不看书，不听音乐，纯粹就是坐下，什么都不干。可你做不到，因为总有种焦虑感，催着你起来动一动，起来动一动，起来动一动。我觉得，意识到焦虑正让你不开心，这很重要。焦虑无非就是一连串不停冒出来的念头。

How I combat anxiety: I don’t try and fight it, I just notice I’m anxious because of all these thoughts. I try to figure out, “Would I rather be having this thought right now, or would I rather have my peace?” Because as long as I have my thoughts, I can’t have my peace.
我是这样应对焦虑的：我不会去强行对抗它，只是察觉到自己因为种种思绪而焦虑。我会试着思考：“我究竟是想继续纠结这些念头，还是想让内心恢复平静？” 毕竟，只要脑子里一直想着这些事，我就没法平静下来。

You’ll notice when I say happiness, I mean peace. When a lot of people say happiness, they mean joy or bliss, but I’ll take peace. [2]
你会发现，我说的“幸福”，其实指的是内心的安宁。很多人提到“幸福”，想到的是快乐或狂喜，但我更看重安宁。[2]

A happy person isn’t someone who’s happy all the time.
快乐的人并非时刻都快乐。

It’s someone who effortlessly interprets events in such a way that they don’t lose their innate peace.
这类人能轻松诠释各种事件，从而始终保持内心的平和。

Every Desire Is a Chosen Unhappiness
每一个欲望，都是自寻烦恼

I think the most common mistake for humanity is believing you’re going to be made happy because of some external circumstance. I know that’s not original. That’s not new. It’s fundamental Buddhist wisdom—I’m not taking credit for it. I think I really just recognize it on a fundamental level, including in myself.
我觉得人类最普遍的错误，就是认为某些外部条件会让自己获得幸福。我知道这不是什么独到见解，也不新鲜，这是佛教的基本智慧——我可没打算居功。我想我只是从内心深处真正意识到了这一点，包括我自己也有这样的问题。

We bought a new car. Now, I’m waiting for the new car to arrive. Of course, every night, I’m on the forums reading about the car. Why? It’s a silly object. It’s a silly car. It’s not going to change my life much or at all. I know the instant the car arrives I won’t care about it anymore. The thing is, I’m addicted to the desiring. I’m addicted to the idea of this external thing bringing me some kind of happiness and joy, and this is completely delusional.
我们买了辆新车。眼下，我正等着新车到手。每天晚上，我都会泡在论坛上，看有关这辆车的各种消息。为啥呢？这不过是个没多大意义的物件，一辆普普通通的车罢了，并不会给我的生活带来多大改变，甚至可以说毫无改变。我心里清楚，等车一到，我就不会再把它当回事了。可问题在于，我深陷欲望的泥沼，总幻想着这个身外之物能给我带来幸福和快乐，这想法实在是不切实际。

Looking outside yourself for anything is the fundamental delusion. Not to say you shouldn’t do things on the outside. You absolutely should. You’re a living creature. There are things you do. You locally reverse entropy. That’s why you’re here.
向外寻求任何事物，本质上都是一种错觉。这并非说你不应有所行动，恰恰相反，作为鲜活的生命个体，你当然应该有所作为，在局部对抗熵增，这正是你存在的意义。

You’re meant to do something. You’re not just meant to lie there in the sand and meditate all day long. You should self-actualize. You should do what you are meant to do.
你生来就该有所作为，不能成天躺在沙滩上冥想度日。你得实现自我价值，去做命中注定之事。

The idea you’re going to change something in the outside world, and that is going to bring you the peace, everlasting joy, and happiness you deserve, is a fundamental delusion we all suffer from, including me. The mistake over and over and over is to say, “Oh, I’ll be happy when I get that thing,” whatever it is. That is the fundamental mistake we all make, 24/7, all day long. [4]
你觉得自己能改变外界的某些事物，进而获得应有的安宁、长久的喜悦与幸福，这其实是一种我们所有人（包括我自己）都有的根本性错觉。我们总是一错再错，总说：“哦，等我得到那个东西，我就会幸福。” 不管那东西究竟是什么。这是我们所有人一天到晚、时时刻刻都在犯的根本性错误。[4]

The fundamental delusion: There is something out there that will make me happy and fulfilled forever.
根本的错觉在于：总觉得有某种外在事物，能让自己永远幸福圆满。

Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. I don’t think most of us realize that’s what it is. I think we go about desiring things all day long and then wonder why we’re unhappy. I like to stay aware of it, because then I can choose my desires very carefully. I try not to have more than one big desire in my life at any given time, and I also recognize it as the axis of my suffering. I realize the area where I’ve chosen to be unhappy. [5]
欲望是你给自己定下的一份契约，规定在达成所愿之前，你都不会快乐。我认为我们大多数人都没意识到这一点。我们整天都在渴求各种事物，随后却纳闷自己为何不开心。我习惯留意这一点，这样就能审慎地选择自己的欲望。我尽量在任何时候，生活中都只有一个主要欲望，并且我也将其看作痛苦的根源。我明白，这是我选择让自己不快乐的方面。[5]

Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.
欲望是你给自己立下的一份约定，在达成所愿之前，你将一直处于不开心的状态。

One thing I’ve learned recently: it’s way more important to perfect your desires than to try to do something you don’t 100 percent desire. [1]
我最近学到一点：与其去做并非自己百分百想做的事，不如先完善自己的欲望，这要重要得多。[1]

When you’re young and healthy, you can do more. By doing more, you’re actually taking on more and more desires. You don’t realize this is slowly destroying your happiness. I find younger people are less happy but more healthy. Older people are more happy but less healthy.
当你年轻且身体健康时，你能做更多的事。而随着做得越多，实际上你背负的欲望也越来越多。你没意识到，这正逐渐侵蚀你的幸福感。我发现，年轻人身体更健康，但幸福感较低；老年人则相反，幸福感更强，身体却没那么好了。

When you’re young, you have time. You have health, but you have no money. When you’re middle-aged, you have money and you have health, but you have no time. When you’re old, you have money and you have time, but you have no health. So the trifecta is trying to get all three at once.
年轻的时候，你有时间、有健康，却没钱。人到中年，你有钱、有健康，却没时间。等到老了，你有钱、有时间，身体却不行了。所以，理想的状态是能同时拥有这三者。

By the time people realize they have enough money, they’ve lost their time and their health. [8]
等人们意识到自己钱已足够时，却已失去了时间与健康。[8]

Success Does Not Earn Happiness
成功无法赢得幸福

Happiness is being satisfied with what you have.
幸福就是知足常乐。

Success comes from dissatisfaction. Choose.
成功源自于不满足。做出抉择。

Confucius says you have two lives, and the second one begins when you realize you only have one. When and how did your second life begin?
孔子说，人有两次人生。当你意识到人生只有一次时，第二次人生便开启了。你的第二次人生是何时、怎样开始的呢？

That’s a very deep question. Most people who are past a certain age have had this feeling or phenomenon; they’ve gone through life a certain way and then gotten to a certain stage and had to make some pretty big changes. I’m definitely also in that boat.
这是个很深刻的问题。多数上了些年纪的人都有过这种感受或经历，他们按某种方式生活，到了某个阶段，就不得不做出一些重大改变。我也不例外。

I struggled for a lot of my life to have certain material and social successes. When I achieved those material and social successes (or at least was beyond a point where they didn’t matter as much), I realized the people around me who had achieved similar successes and were on their way to achieving more didn’t seem all that happy. In my case, there was definitely hedonic adaptation: I’d very quickly get used to anything.
我人生中很多时候都在奋力追求物质与社会成就。当我取得这些物质和社会成就后（至少已到了这些成就不再那么重要的阶段），我发现身边那些取得类似成就且正迈向更多成功的人，似乎并非特别幸福。对我来说，确实存在享乐适应：我很快就能适应任何事物。

This led me to the conclusion, which seems trite, that happiness is internal. That conclusion set me on a path of working more on my internal self and realizing all real success is internal and has very little to do with external circumstances.
这让我得出一个看似老生常谈的结论：幸福源于内心。这一结论引导我踏上更多关注内在自我的道路，也让我意识到，一切真正的成功皆源自内心，与外部环境关联甚少。

One has to do the external thing anyway. We’re biologically hard-wired. It’s glib to say, “You can just turn it off.” Your own life experience will bring you back to the internal path. [7]
人无论如何都得做些外在的事，这是与生俱来的本能。说“你可以直接置之不理”，这种说法太过草率。你自己的人生经历会引领你回归内心之路。[7]

The problem with getting good at a game, especially one with big rewards, is you continue playing it long after you should have outgrown it.
精通一款游戏，尤其是奖励丰厚的游戏，问题在于，即便你早该脱离它，却依旧会继续玩下去。

Survival and replication drive put us on the work treadmill. Hedonic adaptation keeps us there. The trick is knowing when to jump off and play instead.
生存与繁衍的本能驱使我们投身工作，如同踏上跑步机一般。而享乐适应机制又使我们难以停下脚步。关键在于，要懂得何时该从这“跑步机”上下来，去享受生活。

Who do you think of as successful?
你觉得什么样的人算是成功人士？

Most people think of someone as successful when they win a game, whatever game they play themselves. If you’re an athlete, you’re going to think of a top athlete. If you’re in business, you might think Elon Musk.
大多数人觉得，无论玩什么游戏，只要有人在游戏中获胜，那这个人就算成功。要是你是运动员，就会想到顶尖运动员。要是你从商，可能就会想到埃隆·马斯克。

A few years ago, I would have said Steve Jobs, because he was part of the driving force creating something that changed lives for all of humanity. I think Marc Andreessen is successful, not because of his recent incarnation as a venture capitalist, but because of the incredible work he did with Netscape. Satoshi Nakamoto is successful in that he created Bitcoin, which is this incredible technological creation that will have repercussions for decades to come. Of course, Elon Musk, because he changed everyone’s viewpoint on what is possible with modern technology and entrepreneurship. I consider those creators and commercializers successful.
几年前，我可能会提到史蒂夫·乔布斯，因为他是推动创造改变全人类生活事物的力量之一。我觉得马克·安德森之所以成功，并非源于他如今身为风险投资家，而是因为他在网景公司做出的卓越贡献。中本聪同样成功，他创造了比特币，这一伟大的技术创举将在未来几十年持续产生影响。当然，埃隆·马斯克也不例外，他改变了大家对于现代技术与创业可能性的认知。我认为这些创造者和商业推广者都很成功。

To me, the real winners are the ones who step out of the game entirely, who don’t even play the game, who rise above it. Those are the people who have such internal mental and self-control and self-awareness, they need nothing from anybody else. There are a couple of these characters I know in my life. Jerzy Gregorek—I would consider him successful because he doesn’t need anything from anybody. He’s at peace, he’s healthy, and whether he makes more money or less money compared to the next person has no effect on his mental state.
对我而言，真正的赢家是那些彻底跳出游戏的人，他们压根不参与这场游戏，而是超脱其上。这些人具备极强的内在精神、自控力与自我认知，无需从他人处获取任何东西。在我的生活里，就认识几个这样的人。比如杰尔兹·格雷戈雷克，我觉得他很成功，因为他无需依赖任何人。他内心平和，身体健康，与旁人相比，收入高低对他的精神状态毫无影响。

Historically, I would say the legendary Buddha or Krishnamurti, whose stuff I like reading, they are successful in the sense that they step out of the game entirely. Winning or losing does not matter to them.
从历史上看，我会提到传奇的佛陀或克里希那穆提，我喜欢研读他们的思想。从某种意义上讲，他们是成功的，因为他们彻底超脱于尘世纷扰之外，输赢对他们而言无关紧要。

There’s a line from Blaise Pascal I read. Basically, it says: “All of man’s troubles arise because he cannot sit in a room quietly by himself.” If you could just sit for thirty minutes and be happy, you are successful. That is a very powerful place to be, but very few of us get there. [6]
我读到过布莱兹·帕斯卡的一句话，大意是：“人类所有的烦恼皆因无法独自静坐在房间里。”要是你能安安静静坐上三十分钟，还觉得开心，那就算成功了。这境界很了不起，但鲜有人能企及。[6]

I think of happiness as an emergent property of peace. If you’re peaceful inside and out, that will eventually result in happiness. But peace is a very hard thing to come by. The irony is the way most of us try to find peace is through war. When you start a business, in a way, you’re going to war. When you struggle with your roommates as to who should clean the dishes, you’re going to war. You’re struggling so you can have some sense of security and peace later.
我觉得幸福是从平静中衍生出来的。要是你内心和外在都安宁，最终就会感到幸福。但安宁很难得。讽刺的是，我们大多数人都试图通过争斗来获得安宁。创业，从某种意义上讲，就是在争斗。和室友为谁该洗碗而争吵，也是在争斗。你努力争取，是为了日后能有安全感和安宁。

In reality, peace is not a guarantee. It’s always flowing. It’s always changing. You want to learn the core skill set of flowing with life and accepting it in most cases. [8]
实际上，安宁并非必然，它始终处于动态变化之中。你需要掌握顺应生活并在多数情况下接纳它的核心技能。[8]

You can get almost anything you want out of life, as long as it’s one thing and you want it far more than anything else.
只要你所求唯一，且渴望至极，那么你几乎能从生活中得偿所愿。

In my own personal experience, the place I end up the most is wanting to be at peace.
以我个人经验，我最常渴望的状态是内心安宁。

Peace is happiness at rest, and happiness is peace in motion. You can convert peace into happiness anytime you want. But peace is what you want most of the time. If you’re a peaceful person, anything you do will be a happy activity.
安宁是静止的幸福，幸福是流动的安宁。任何时候，只要你愿意，都能将安宁转化为幸福。但大多数时候，你最渴望的还是安宁。内心安宁之人，做任何事都会乐在其中。

Today, the way we think you get peace is by resolving all your external problems. But there are unlimited external problems. The only way to actually get peace on the inside is by giving up this idea of problems. [77]
如今，我们觉得要获得内心的平静，就得解决所有外部问题。然而，外部问题层出不穷。实际上，真正获得内心平静的唯一办法，是摒弃这种关于问题的想法。[77]

Envy Is the Enemy of Happiness
嫉妒是幸福之大敌

I don’t think life is that hard. I think we make it hard. One of the things I’m trying to get rid of is the word “should.” Whenever the word “should” creeps up in your mind, it’s guilt or social programming. Doing something because you “should” basically means you don’t actually want to do it. It’s just making you miserable, so I’m trying to eliminate as many “shoulds” from my life as possible. [1]
我觉得生活没那么难，是我们自己把它变难了。我一直试着戒掉“应该”这个词。每当你心里冒出“应该”这个词，背后往往是愧疚感，或是社会教化的结果。因为“应该”而去做一件事，本质上说明你其实并不想做，这只会让你痛苦，所以我尽可能从生活里剔除“应该”。

The enemy of peace of mind is expectations drilled into you by society and other people.
扰乱内心平静的，是社会和他人给你灌输的期望。

Socially, we’re told, “Go work out. Go look good.” That’s a multi-player competitive game. Other people can see if I’m doing a good job or not. We’re told, “Go make money. Go buy a big house.” Again, external multiplayer competitive game. Training yourself to be happy is completely internal. There is no external progress, no external validation. You’re competing against yourself—it is a single-player game.
在社交层面，人们常说：“去健身，让自己容光焕发。” 这属于多人竞争的范畴，别人能评判我做得优劣。又有人说：“去赚钱，买套大房子。” 这同样是面向外界的多人竞争。然而，修炼内心的快乐纯粹关乎内在，既无外在的进展体现，也无需外界认可，你只是在与自己较量，这是一场单人的修行。

We’re like bees or ants. We are such social creatures, we’re externally programmed and driven. We don’t know how to play and win these single-player games anymore. We compete purely in multiplayer games.
我们就像蜜蜂或蚂蚁，是高度社会化的生物，行为受外界引导和驱使。如今，我们已不知如何玩好单人游戏并从中取胜，只会在多人游戏中展开竞争。

The reality is life is a single-player game. You’re born alone. You’re going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All your memories are alone. You’re gone in three generations, and nobody cares. Before you showed up, nobody cared. It’s all single player.
现实是，人生就像一场单人游戏。你孤身降临人世，也将独自告别人世。所有的感悟，皆由你独自体会；所有的记忆，也都只属于你自己。三代之后，便无人再记得你，就如同你出生之前无人在意一样。人生，从头到尾都是一个人的旅程。

Perhaps one reason why yoga and meditation are hard to sustain is they have no extrinsic value. Purely single-player games.
或许瑜伽和冥想之所以难以持续进行，原因之一在于它们并无外在价值，完全属于单人活动。

Buffett has a great example when he asks if you want to be the world’s best lover and known as the worst, or the world’s worst lover and known as the best? [paraphrased] in reference to an inner or external scorecard.
巴菲特曾举过一个很有意思的例子，他问，你希望自己实际上是世界上最出色的情人，却被人认为是最差劲的；还是希望自己实际上是世界上最差劲的情人，却被人认为是最出色的呢？（意译），这涉及到内心和外在的评判标准。

Exactly right. All the real scorecards are internal.
完全正确。所有真正的衡量标准都源自内心。

Jealousy was a very hard emotion for me to overcome. When I was young, I had a lot of jealousy. By and by, I learned to get rid of it. It still crops up every now and then. It’s such a poisonous emotion because, at the end of the day, you’re no better off with jealousy. You’re unhappier, and the person you’re jealous of is still successful or good-looking or whatever they are.
嫉妒曾是我极难克服的一种情绪。年轻时，我满心嫉妒。慢慢地，我学会了摒弃这种心态。不过，它仍时不时冒头。嫉妒是一种极其有害的情绪，毕竟到头来，嫉妒并不能让你过得更好。你只会愈发不开心，而你嫉妒的人依旧成功、依旧好看，或者依旧拥有他们所拥有的一切。

One day, I realized with all these people I was jealous of, I couldn’t just choose little aspects of their life. I couldn’t say I want his body, I want her money, I want his personality. You have to be that person. Do you want to actually be that person with all of their reactions, their desires, their family, their happiness level, their outlook on life, their self-image? If you’re not willing to do a wholesale, 24/7, 100 percent swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.
有一天我意识到，对于那些我所嫉妒的人，我无法只选取他们生活中的某些方面。我不能说，我想要他的身材、她的财富、他的性格。要嫉妒，就得成为那个人。你真的愿意全方位、全天候、毫无保留地变成那个人，拥有他们的反应、欲望、家庭、幸福程度、人生观和自我认知吗？如果不愿意，那嫉妒就毫无意义。

Once I came to that realization, jealousy faded away because I don’t want to be anybody else. I’m perfectly happy being me. By the way, even that is under my control. To be happy being me. It’s just there are no social rewards for it. [4]
一旦我领悟到这一点，嫉妒便烟消云散，因为我不想成为别人，做自己就无比快乐。顺带一提，就连这份快乐也在我的掌控之中。只是这么做并不会得到社会的嘉奖。[4]

Happiness Is Built by Habits
幸福源自习惯

My most surprising discovery in the last five years is that peace and happiness are skills. These are not things you are born with. Yes, there is a genetic range. And a lot of it is conditioning from your environment, but you can un-condition and recondition yourself.
在过去五年里，我最意想不到的发现是，内心的平静与幸福是可以习得的技能。它们并非天生就有。的确，基因会产生一定影响，环境也会在很大程度上塑造心境，但你可以突破既有影响，重塑自我。

You can increase your happiness over time, and it starts with believing you can do it.
假以时日，你能够提升自己的幸福感，关键在于相信自己可以做到。

It’s a skill. Just like nutrition is a skill, dieting is a skill, working out is a skill, making money is a skill, meeting girls and guys is a skill, having good relationships is a skill, even love is a skill. It starts with realizing they’re skills you can learn. When you put your intention and focus on it, the world can become a better place.
这是一项技能。就如同营养搭配、节食、健身、赚钱、结识异性、经营良好的人际关系，甚至连爱，都是技能。首先要意识到，这些技能都可以通过学习掌握。当你用心专注于此，世界将会变得更加美好。

When working, surround yourself with people more successful than you.
工作的时候，要和比自己更成功的人在一起。

When playing, surround yourself with people happier than you.
玩耍的时候，多和比你快乐的人在一起。

What type of skill is happiness?
幸福属于哪类技能？

It’s all trial and error. You just see what works. You can try sitting meditation. Did that work for you? Was it Tantra meditation or was it Vipassana meditation? Was it a ten-day retreat or was twenty minutes enough?
这一切都得靠反复摸索。你只需看看哪种方式有效。你可以试试坐禅。对你来说，这种方式有效吗？是密宗冥想，还是内观冥想呢？是需要进行为期十天的静修，还是每天二十分钟就够了？

Okay. None of those worked. But what if I tried yoga? What if I kite-surfed? What if I go car racing? What about cooking? Does that make me Zen? You literally have to try all of these things until you find something that works for you.
好吧。这些办法都行不通。那要是试试瑜伽呢？去玩风筝冲浪如何？或者去赛车？烹饪又能不能让我内心平静呢？你确实得把这些都试过，才能找到适合自己的方式。

When it comes to medicines for the mind, the placebo effect is 100 percent effective. When it comes to your mind, you want to be positively inclined, not incredulous in belief. If it is fully internal, you should have a positive mindset.
谈及心灵的疗愈之法，安慰剂效应绝对有效。就心灵而言，你应积极向上，而非对信念心存怀疑。若一切皆源自内心，那便应持有积极的心态。

For example, I was reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which is a fantastic introduction to being present, for people who are not religious. He shows you the single-most important thing is to be present and hammers it home over and over again until you get it.
比如说，我当时在读埃克哈特·托利写的《当下的力量》，这本书对不信教的人来说，是一本介绍活在当下理念的绝佳入门读物。书中反复强调，最重要的就是要活在当下，直到你真正领会。

He wrote about this body-energy exercise. You lie down and you feel the energy moving around your body. At that point, the old me would have put the book down and said, “Well, that’s BS.” But the new me said, “Well, if I believe it, maybe it’ll work.” I went into it with a positive mindset. I laid down and tried the meditation. You know what? It felt really good.
他写到了这种身体能量练习。你躺下来，感受能量在身体里流动。换作以前，我会放下书，说：“哼，这纯粹是胡扯。” 但现在的我会想：“嗯，如果我相信它，说不定真有用呢。” 于是，我抱着积极的心态，躺下来尝试冥想。嘿，你还别说，感觉真挺不错。

How does someone build the skill of happiness?
一个人要如何培养获得幸福的能力？

You can build good habits. Not drinking alcohol will keep your mood more stable. Not eating sugar will keep your mood more stable. Not going on Facebook, Snapchat, or Twitter will keep your mood more stable. Playing video games will make you happier in the short run—and I used to be an avid gamer—but in the long run, it could ruin your happiness. You’re being fed dopamine and having dopamine withdrawn from you in these little uncontrollable ways. Caffeine is another one where you trade long term for the short term.
你可以培养良好的习惯。不饮酒能让你的情绪更为稳定，不吃糖也是如此，不上脸书、Snapchat 或推特同样能让情绪更稳定。玩电子游戏短期内会让你更开心——我以前就是个游戏迷——但从长远看，这可能会破坏你的幸福感。在玩游戏时，你会以这些难以控制的方式，一会儿被注入多巴胺，一会儿又被抽离多巴胺。咖啡因也是类似情况，是以长期利益换取短期效果。

Essentially, you have to go through your life replacing your thoughtless bad habits with good ones, making a commitment to be a happier person. At the end of the day, you are a combination of your habits and the people who you spend the most time with.
本质上，你得在生活中改掉不经意间养成的坏习惯，培养好习惯，下定决心成为更快乐的人。说到底，你就是自身习惯与相处最多之人的集合体。

When we’re kids, we have very few habits. Over time, we learn the things we are not supposed to do. We become self-conscious. We start forming habits and routines.
小时候，我们的习惯寥寥无几。随着时间流逝，我们知道了哪些事不该做，开始有了自我意识，也逐渐养成各种习惯和日常规律。

Many distinctions between people who get happier as they get older and people who don’t can be explained by what habits they have developed. Are they habits that will increase your long-term happiness rather than your short-term happiness? Are you surrounding yourself with people who are generally positive and upbeat people? Are those relationships low-maintenance? Do you admire and respect but not envy them?
随着年龄增长，有些人愈发幸福，有些人则不然，这两类人之间的诸多差异，可从他们养成的习惯中找到答案。这些习惯能否提升你的长期幸福感，而非仅仅带来短暂快乐？你身边围绕的是否多为积极乐观之人？这些人际关系是否无需耗费过多精力去维系？你对他们是钦佩敬重，而非心生嫉妒吗？

There’s the “five chimps theory” where you can predict a chimp’s behavior by the five chimps it hangs out with the most. I think that applies to humans as well. Maybe it’s politically incorrect to say you should choose your friends very wisely. But you shouldn’t choose them haphazardly based on who you live next to or who you happen to work with. The people who are the most happy and optimistic choose the right five chimps. [8]
有一种“五只猩猩理论”，即通过一只猩猩最常打交道的五只猩猩，就能预测这只猩猩的行为。我觉得这同样适用于人类。或许说人应该慎重择友，这种说法在政治上不太正确。但你不应仅凭邻居是谁，或者碰巧和谁共事，就随意选择朋友。那些最为快乐、乐观的人，会选对自己身边的“五只猩猩”。[8]

The first rule of handling conflict is: Don’t hang around people who constantly engage in conflict. I’m not interested in anything unsustainable or even hard to sustain, including difficult relationships. [5]
处理冲突的首要原则是：别跟老是惹麻烦的人打交道。我对任何难以维系甚至无法长久的事物都不感兴趣，复杂的人际关系也不例外。[5]

If you can’t see yourself working with someone for life, don’t work with them for a day.
要是你觉得没法跟某人长期共事，那就一天都别跟他们合作。

There’s a friend of mine, a Persian guy named Behzad. He just loves life, and he has no time for anybody who is not happy.
我有个朋友叫贝赫扎德，是个波斯人。他热爱生活，不愿在任何不快乐的人身上浪费时间。

If you ask Behzad what’s his secret? He’ll just look up and say, “Stop asking why and start saying wow.” The world is such an amazing place. As humans, we’re used to taking everything for granted. Like what you and I are doing right now. We’re sitting indoors, wearing clothes, well-fed, and communicating with each other through space and time. We should be two monkeys sitting in the jungle right now watching the sun going down, asking ourselves where we are going to sleep.
要是你问贝赫扎德有什么秘诀，他只会抬起头说：“别老问为什么，多感叹世界的奇妙。” 世界是如此奇妙，可我们人类总是把一切都视作理所当然。就拿你我此刻的状态来说，我们身处室内，衣着整齐，饮食无忧，还能跨越时空交流。其实，我们本应像两只猴子，坐在丛林里，看着夕阳西下，发愁晚上睡哪儿。

When we get something, we assume the world owes it to us. If you’re present, you’ll realize how many gifts and how much abundance there is around us at all times. That’s all you really need to do. I’m here now, and I have all these incredible things at my disposal. [8]
当我们获得某物时，往往会觉得这是世界理应给予我们的。若能活在当下，你便会意识到，我们身边时刻都充满着馈赠和富足。这便是你真正要做的。此刻我身处此地，拥有无数美妙事物任我享用。[8]

The most important trick to being happy is to realize happiness is a skill you develop and a choice you make. You choose to be happy, and then you work at it. It’s just like building muscles. It’s just like losing weight. It’s just like succeeding at your job. It’s just like learning calculus.
获得幸福最重要的诀窍，是意识到幸福是一种可以培养的技能，也是一种能够做出的选择。你选择追求幸福，然后为之付出努力。这就如同锻炼肌肉、减肥、在工作中取得成功或是学习微积分一样。

You decide it’s important to you. You prioritize it above everything else. You read everything on the topic. [7]
你觉得这对你至关重要，于是将其置于首位，优先考虑。你阅读了所有关于这个主题的资料。[7]

Happiness Habits
幸福养成习惯

I have a series of tricks I use to try and be happier in the moment. At first, they were silly and difficult and required a lot of attention, but now some of them have become second nature. By doing them religiously, I’ve managed to increase my happiness level quite a bit.
我有一系列让自己当下更快乐的窍门。起初，这些窍门很幼稚，做起来费劲，还得格外留意，但现在有些已经习以为常了。通过坚持运用这些窍门，我大大提高了自己的快乐水平。

The obvious one is meditation—insight meditation. Working toward a specific purpose on it, which is to try and understand how my mind works. [7]
显而易见，冥想，尤其是内观冥想，是一种途径。通过冥想，朝着特定目标努力，尝试去理解自己的思维运作方式。[7]

Just being very aware in every moment. If I catch myself judging somebody, I can stop myself and say, “What’s the positive interpretation of this?” I used to get annoyed about things. Now I always look for the positive side of it. It used to take a rational effort. It used to take a few seconds for me to come up with a positive. Now I can do it sub-second. [7]
时刻保持高度的觉察。要是发现自己在评判某人，我就会停下来，问问自己：“这件事积极的解读是什么？”以前，我常常为一些事烦恼。如今，我总会去寻找事情积极的一面。以前，这得费一番理性思考，得花上几秒钟才能想出积极的一面。现在，我瞬间就能做到。[7]

I try to get more sunlight on my skin. I look up and smile. [7]
我试着多晒晒太阳，便抬起头，微笑着。[7]

Every time you catch yourself desiring something, say, “Is it so important to me I’ll be unhappy unless this goes my way?” You’re going to find with the vast majority of things it’s just not true. [7]
每次察觉到自己渴望某样东西时，不妨问问自己：“这事对我真有那么重要吗？要是不顺我意，我就会不开心？”你会发现，绝大多数时候并非如此。[7]

I think dropping caffeine made me happier. It makes me more of a stable person. [7]
我觉得戒掉咖啡因后，我更快乐了，情绪也更稳定了。[7]

I think working out every day made me happier. If you have peace of body, it’s easier to have peace of mind. [7]
我觉得每天坚持锻炼能让我更开心。要是身体舒坦了，内心也更容易平静下来。[7]

The more you judge, the more you separate yourself. You’ll feel good for an instant, because you feel good about yourself, thinking you’re better than someone. Later, you’re going to feel lonely. Then, you see negativity everywhere. The world just reflects your own feelings back at you. [77]
你评判得越多，就越容易孤立自己。一开始，你会感觉良好，因为你自我感觉良好，觉得自己比别人强。但随后，你会感到孤独，看什么都不顺眼。世界只是将你内心的感受反馈给你。[77]

Tell your friends you’re a happy person. Then, you’ll be forced to conform to it. You’ll have a consistency bias. You have to live up to it. Your friends will expect you to be a happy person. [5]
告诉朋友们你是个快乐的人。如此一来，你就必须身体力行。这是一种一致性倾向，你得说到做到。而且朋友们也会因此认为你是个快乐的人。[5]

Recover time and happiness by minimizing your use of these three smartphone apps: phone, calendar, and alarm clock. [11]
少用电话、日历、闹钟这三款手机应用，重获时间与快乐。[11]

The more secrets you have, the less happy you’re going to be. [11]
你藏着的秘密越多，幸福感就越低。[11]

Caught in a funk? Use meditation, music, and exercise to reset your mood. Then choose a new path to commit emotional energy for rest of day. [11]
陷入低落情绪了？试试通过冥想、听音乐和锻炼来调整心情。接着，选个新方向，在当天余下的时间里投入情感精力。[11]

Hedonic adaptation is more powerful for man-made things (cars, houses, clothes, money) than for natural things (food, sex, exercise). [11]
享乐适应对人造物品（如汽车、房子、衣物、金钱）的作用，比对自然事物（如食物、性、锻炼）的作用更强。[11]

No exceptions—all screen activities linked to less happiness, all non-screen activities linked to more happiness. [11]
无一例外，所有与屏幕相关的活动都意味着幸福感较低，而所有非屏幕活动则意味着幸福感较高。[11]

A personal metric: how much of the day is spent doing things out of obligation rather than out of interest? [11]
一项个人衡量指标：一天当中，有多少时间是出于义务而非兴趣做事的？[11]

It’s the news’ job to make you anxious and angry. But its underlying scientific, economic, education, and conflict trends are positive. Stay optimistic. [11]
新闻的作用就是让你焦虑和愤怒。但从根本上来说，科学、经济、教育以及冲突等方面的发展趋势都是积极的。要保持乐观。[11]

Politics, academia, and social status are all zero-sum games. Positive-sum games create positive people. [11]
政治、学术以及社会地位相关的竞争，本质上都是零和博弈。而正和博弈，才能塑造积极向上的人。[11]

Increase serotonin in the brain without drugs: Sunlight, exercise, positive thinking, and tryptophan. [11]
不用药物，如何提升大脑中的血清素水平？方法有晒太阳、锻炼身体、保持积极心态，以及摄入色氨酸。[11]

Changing habits:
改变习惯：

Pick one thing. Cultivate a desire. Visualize it.
选定一件事，培养渴望，在脑海中勾勒它的画面。

Plan a sustainable path.
规划一条可持续发展的道路。

Identify needs, triggers, and substitutes.
明确需求、触发条件及替代方案。

Tell your friends.
告诉你的朋友们。

Track meticulously.
精确细致地追踪。

Self-discipline is a bridge to a new self-image.
自律是塑造全新自我形象的桥梁。

Bake in the new self-image. It’s who you are—now. [11]
内化新的自我认知。这就是当下的你。[11]

First, you know it. Then, you understand it. Then, you can explain it. Then, you can feel it. Finally, you are it.
首先，你知道它。接着，你理解它。然后，你能解释它。随后，你能体会它。最终，你融入它。

Find Happiness in Acceptance
在接纳中寻得幸福

In any situation in life, you always have three choices: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it.
在生活中的任何情形下，你始终有三种选择：改变、接受或离开。

If you want to change it, then it is a desire. It will cause you suffering until you successfully change it. So don’t pick too many of those. Pick one big desire in your life at any given time to give yourself purpose and motivation.
要是你想改变某件事，这便是一种欲望。在成功改变之前，它会让你饱受煎熬。所以别给自己设太多这样的目标。任何时候，在生活中选定一个宏大的目标，给自己明确方向、增添动力。

Why not two?
为什么不是两个呢？

You’ll be distracted.
你会被分散注意力。

Even one is hard enough. Being peaceful comes from having your mind clear of thoughts. And a lot of clarity comes from being in the present moment. It’s very hard to be in the present moment if you’re thinking, “I need to do this. I want that. This has got to change.” [8]
哪怕只做到一点都极为不易。内心的平静，源自头脑中毫无杂念。而内心的澄澈，很大程度上取决于活在当下。要是心里总想着“我得做这个，我想要那个，这必须改变”，就很难做到活在当下。[8]

You always have three options: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it. What is not a good option is to sit around wishing you would change it but not changing it, wishing you could leave it but not leaving it and not accepting it. That struggle or aversion is responsible for most of our misery. The phrase I probably use the most to myself in my head is just one word: “accept.” [5]
你一直有三种选择：改变、接受，或者离开。最不可取的是，空有改变或离开的想法，却既不行动，又不接受现状。这种纠结和抗拒，正是我们大多数痛苦的来源。我心里最常对自己说的，就一个词：“接受”。[5]

What does acceptance look like to you?
对你而言，接受意味着什么？

It’s to be okay whatever the outcome is. It’s to be balanced and centered. It’s to step back and to see the grander scheme of things.
无论结果怎样，都要坦然处之。要保持平衡，内心沉稳。要退一步，从更宏大的视角看事情。

We don’t always get what we want, but sometimes what is happening is for the best. The sooner you can accept it as a reality, the sooner you can adapt to it.
我们未必总能得偿所愿，但有时发生的事自有其道理。你越早接受这一现实，就能越快适应。

Achieving acceptance is very difficult. I have a couple of hacks I try, but I wouldn’t say they are totally successful.
要做到接纳很难。我试过一些方法，但不敢说这些方法完全奏效。

One hack is stepping back and looking at previous bits of suffering I’ve had in my life. I write them down. “Last time you broke up with somebody, last time you had a business failure, last time you had a health issue, what happened?” I can trace the growth and improvement that came from it years later.
有个方法是，回过头去审视自己人生中曾经历的种种痛苦。我会把这些经历写下来，比如“上次分手、上次创业失败、上次健康出问题时，后来怎么样了？”我能从中看到，多年后自己从中获得的成长与进步。

I have another hack I use for minor annoyances. When they happen, a part of me will instantly react negatively. But I’ve learned to mentally ask myself, “What is the positive of this situation?”
我还有个应对小烦心事的妙招。每当烦心事出现，我内心会立刻产生负面反应。但我已学会在心里自问：“这件事有什么积极的一面呢？”

“Okay, I’ll be late for a meeting. But what is the benefit to me? I get to relax and watch the birds for a moment. I’ll also spend less time in that boring meeting.” There’s almost always something positive.
“好吧，我开会要迟到了。但这对我有什么好处呢？我能趁机放松片刻，看看鸟儿。而且还能少在那个无聊会议上浪费点时间。”几乎总有一些积极的方面。

Even if you can’t come up with something positive, you can say, “Well, the Universe is going to teach me something now. Now I get to listen and learn.”
即便你想不出什么积极的事儿，也可以说：“好吧，这下宇宙要给我上课了。我且洗耳恭听，好好学习。”

To give you the simplest example: I was at an event and afterward, someone flooded my inbox with a whole bunch of photos they took.
给你举个最简单的例子：我参加了一场活动，结束后，有人往我的收件箱里发了一大堆他们拍摄的照片。

There was a tiny instant judgment saying, “Come on, couldn’t you have just selected a few of the best? Who sends a hundred photos?” But then immediately I asked myself, “What is the positive?” The positive is that I get to pick my five favorite photos. I get to use my judgment.
瞬间有个小小的评判念头闪过：“拜托，就不能只挑几张最好的吗？谁会发一百张照片呀？” 但紧接着我就问自己：“这有什么积极的地方呢？” 积极之处在于，我可以选出五张最喜欢的照片，还能发挥自己的判断力。

Over the last year, by practicing this hack enough, I’ve managed to go from taking a couple of seconds to think of a response, to now my brain doing it almost instantaneously. That’s a habit you can train yourself to do. [8]
在过去一年里，经过大量练习这个方法，我从起初需要花几秒思考如何回应，到现在大脑几乎能立刻做出反应。这是一种你可以训练自己养成的习惯。[8]

How do you learn to accept things you can’t change?
你要如何学会接受无法改变之事呢？

Fundamentally, it boils down to one big hack: embracing death.
从根本上讲，这可归结为一个关键窍门：直面死亡。

Death is the most important thing that is ever going to happen to you. When you look at your death and you acknowledge it, rather than running away from it, it’ll bring great meaning to your life. We spend so much of our life trying to avoid death. So much of what we struggle for can be classified as a quest for immortality.
死亡，是你人生中必将经历的头等大事。直面并接纳死亡，而非逃避，这会赋予你生命非凡的意义。我们一生耗费大量精力试图逃避死亡，我们为之拼搏的诸多事物，其实都可归结为对永生的追寻。

If you’re religious and believe there is an afterlife, then you’ll be taken care of. If you’re not religious, maybe you’ll have kids. If you’re an artist, a painter, or a businessman, you want to leave a legacy behind.
要是你信教，相信有来世，那你会得到眷顾。要是你不信教，或许会要孩子。要是你是艺术家、画家或者商人，就会希望留下点传世的东西。

Here’s a hot tip: There is no legacy. There’s nothing to leave. We’re all going to be gone. Our children will be gone. Our works will be dust. Our civilizations will be dust. Our planet will be dust. Our solar system will be dust. In the grand scheme of things, the Universe has been around for ten billion years. It’ll be around for another ten billion years.
给你个重要提示：根本不存在所谓的遗产，没什么东西是能留存的。我们终将消逝，我们的孩子也会离开这个世界。我们的作品、文明、星球乃至太阳系，都将化为尘埃。从宏观层面来讲，宇宙已存续了一百亿年，还会再存在一百亿年。

Your life is a firefly blink in a night. You’re here for such a brief period of time. If you fully acknowledge the futility of what you’re doing, then I think it can bring great happiness and peace because you realize this is a game. But it’s a fun game. All that matters is you experience your reality as you go through life. Why not interpret it in the most positive possible way?
你的生命如同夜空中萤火虫的短暂闪烁，在世间停留的时光极为短暂。倘若你能充分认识到自己所作所为的徒劳，我想这反而会带来极大的幸福与平静，因为你明白这不过是一场游戏，一场充满乐趣的游戏。重要的是，在人生的历程中，你要去体验属于自己的现实。既然如此，为何不以最积极的方式去解读它呢？

Any moment where you’re not having a great time, when you’re not really happy, you’re not doing anyone any favors. It’s not like your unhappiness makes them better off somehow. All you’re doing is wasting this incredibly small and precious time you have on this Earth. Keeping death on the forefront and not denying it is very important.
任何时候，要是你过得不开心，并非真正快乐，那对谁都没好处。你的不开心并不会让别人的日子变好。你不过是在浪费自己在这世上极为短暂且宝贵的时光。时刻铭记死亡，不回避它，这一点至关重要。

Whenever I get caught up in my ego battles, I just think of entire civilizations that have come and gone. For example, take the Sumerians. I’m sure they were important people and did great things, but go ahead and name me a single Sumerian. Tell me anything interesting or important Sumerians did that lasted. Nothing.
每当我陷入自我较劲时，就会联想到那些兴衰更迭的文明。就拿苏美尔人来说，他们肯定举足轻重，成就非凡，可你能说出哪怕一个苏美尔人的名字吗？能讲讲苏美尔人做过哪些既有趣又重要，且流传至今的事吗？根本说不上来。

So maybe ten thousand years from now or a hundred thousand years from now, people will say, “Oh yeah, Americans. I’ve heard of Americans.” [8]
所以，或许一万年乃至十万年之后，人们会说：“哦，没错，美国人。我听说过这号人。”[8]

You’re going to die one day, and none of this is going to matter. So enjoy yourself. Do something positive. Project some love. Make someone happy. Laugh a little bit. Appreciate the moment. And do your work. [8]
人终有一死，届时这一切都不再重要。所以，尽情享受生活吧。做点积极向上的事，传递一些爱意，给他人带去欢乐，偶尔开怀大笑，珍惜每一个当下，同时也别忘记做好本职工作。[8]